Re: The Non-Growth Oriented Thread for Shorter Lengths
I think the part that upset me the most is that I’m new, I’ve been here about a month. So I try to read as much as I can without asking questions. Because odds are someone has asked it already. But I’m new I’m still going to ask questions. My hair is also short, I’m growing out an undercut. Some parts of my hair are an inch long. I eventually want to get my hair to a place where I can grow for length. But I also need to look polished for work and growing for length like this wouldn’t do that.
I’m happy maintaining my length and getting my hair in a happy healthy place before I go for length. There shouldn’t be anything wrong with that. You have to trim the damage out one way or another.
I actually felt really accepted here right up until I read that thread. I shouldn’t have even opened it. I know myself and my anxiety cycles and I knew it wouldn’t be good and I did it anyway. That’s on me really.
Re: The Non-Growth Oriented Thread for Shorter Lengths
I do remember when I first joined a long time ago that there was no super shorties thread. I lurked for quite a while before I felt " worthy" to join. Then it seemed like if your hair wasn't super long no one listened or cared. It didn't seem like a forum dedicated to growing long hair, more like a forum for people who already had super long hair. That's why I really appreciated the few who had short hair (like Igor) growing and documenting their journey. Then it seemed to change, the shorties thread was created, and then all the other length threads,(at least that is how I remember it) and I felt more like shorter hair was ok and accepted. I feel like it's just been getting better and better since then.
But like Shell said, it ebbs and flows around here with attitudes and ideas, and that's cool too. It's a living, growing community. Anyway, I love this thread. I feel so welcomed here. And I really like the posters who post here. So, Dani, I hope you stay and try not to take a few opinions personally. For the most part I feel like this forum is very accepting of short hair now.
Re: The Non-Growth Oriented Thread for Shorter Lengths
Quote:
Originally Posted by
DaniGirl
I actually felt really accepted here right up until I read that thread. I shouldn’t have even opened it. I know myself and my anxiety cycles and I knew it wouldn’t be good and I did it anyway. That’s on me really.
That thread made me feel something that I still haven't been able to put into words. It's very strange. It's like... I never realised that some people would actually be against me here because I do some not-so-healthy hair practices. I just can't get into that mentality. I'm just too open-minded to think like that, I guess. Live and let live. I did get a very strong elitist vibe from that thread, and I am not even someone who wants to stick with a shorter length as I aim working my way back to TBL+, but who knows, maybe that's not long enough for some people either, even though it's not their hair. :shrug:
ETA: And the assumption that everybody wants super long hair. The longest hair. The longer the better. And that members should be given status and more respect based on hair length. Ugh! I just can't stand that kind of thinking.
Re: The Non-Growth Oriented Thread for Shorter Lengths
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Ylva
That thread made me feel something that I still haven't been able to put into words. It's very strange. It's like... I never realised that some people would actually be against me here because I do some not-so-healthy hair practices. I just can't get into that mentality. I'm just too open-minded to think like that, I guess. Live and let live. I did get a very strong elitist vibe from that thread, and I am not even someone who wants to stick with a shorter length as I aim working my way back to TBL+, but who knows, maybe that's not long enough for some people either, even though it's not their hair. :shrug:
ETA: And the assumption that everybody wants super long hair. The longest hair. The longer the better. And that members should be given status and more respect based on hair length. Ugh! I just can't stand that kind of thinking.
You put it into words well...
Yeah, I get that it is an achievement for a person to grow very long hair. For one self. I don't think it is okay to measure others by that. To think that longer hair makes one more worthy. Like liking or having 'shorter' hair is some kind of not being good enough.
I think I might have lighted the fire by opening a thread for people who genuinely like bobs and lobs, and maybe never want longer hair again, and just want to share hair stuff that works for that length and style.
I am glad I did it, because if somebody judges me for that I would rather know than just assume or pretend that everyone is nice..
Re: The Non-Growth Oriented Thread for Shorter Lengths
I contend that that thread is nothing more than drama-baiting, and I'm surprised and disappointed that it's being not just tolerated, but actively indulged. Save that nonsense for Facebook.
Re: The Non-Growth Oriented Thread for Shorter Lengths
Quote:
Originally Posted by
TheLuckyLurker
I contend that that thread is nothing more than drama-baiting, and I'm surprised and disappointed that it's being not just tolerated, but actively indulged. Save that nonsense for Facebook.
I’m in a curly hair group on Facebook and threads like that get deleted and people booted. They call it curlgatekeeping and don’t want anything to do with it. Whether someone has poker straight or kinky coils they don’t care. We use it to source products especially for where we are, because so much isn’t available. And chat about what works and doesn’t for our hair.
I don’t belong to any other Facebook groups other than 1 wedding dress group and 1 dance stuff but and sell because I hate the drama and whiny crap that happens in those groups. It’s exhausting and draining and it makes it hard to enjoy the group of someone is always pushing and needling for a response.
Re: The Non-Growth Oriented Thread for Shorter Lengths
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Ylva
That thread made me feel something that I still haven't been able to put into words. It's very strange. It's like... I never realised that some people would actually be against me here because I do some not-so-healthy hair practices. I just can't get into that mentality. I'm just too open-minded to think like that, I guess. Live and let live. I did get a very strong elitist vibe from that thread, and I am not even someone who wants to stick with a shorter length as I aim working my way back to TBL+, but who knows, maybe that's not long enough for some people either, even though it's not their hair. :shrug:
ETA: And the assumption that everybody wants super long hair. The longest hair. The longer the better. And that members should be given status and more respect based on hair length. Ugh! I just can't stand that kind of thinking.
Yes, I don’t have any plans to grow past waist length. Which will probably be about hip stretched. I know how heavy my hair is that long and I know I go past that length I get brutal headaches. And I know my goal is other people’s starting points. I just want to get to that point with healthy happy hair and still covering my grays. Because I’m too vain to let them show yet.
But I need to put them time in growing the awkward stuff out now. And I’m quite content that it takes as long as it takes and if it takes a year to get to a happy healthy place to grow I’m ok with that. It felt like if I wasn’t shooting for at least classic what am I even doing here and that super long is the only desirable hair. And honestly that thread changed my opinion of a couple posters and it wasn’t for the better at all. I appreciated your support Yiva of this being an open community.
Re: The Non-Growth Oriented Thread for Shorter Lengths
This thread was a refuge for me when I was maintaining a shoulder to collarbone length lob. There IS a lot of disapproval for choosing to have short hair. A couple of members haven't interacted with me since, but I don't miss them. I don't think there's disapproval for coming in with short hair and growing long.
Re: The Non-Growth Oriented Thread for Shorter Lengths
I have just lurked here and makes me feel sad that some of you feel unwanted because of that thread. To me, every lenght is very welcome here, and the longest manes don't have to be the better (I can totally admire a pixie, BSL or floor lenght hair, as long as it appeals to me). Guys and gals, you are NOT less than the long hair heads, or the growing hair heads, in any case. You do you :flower:
I also enjoyed short hair during all my teens, and I know for sure that, if my hair were pin straight, I would just be maintaining a reversed short bob!
Re: The Non-Growth Oriented Thread for Shorter Lengths
If you're getting upset about that thread, bear in mind that it was started by ONE person, and the reason it's gone on for so long is that the vast majority of members are offended by what she suggested, and are making sure their opinions get heard. Shutting it down would have simply silenced those of us who have posted that we DON'T agree with her, and that we want the forum to stay as it is. Hers would have been the only voice that was heard.