The "No End Goal" Thread: Enjoying the Journey

[vampyyri]

I apologize if a thread like this already exists, mods feel free to merge this one if it already does.

So I'm noticing a lack of "goal-less" threads on here, and a whole lot of going from mile-marker to mile-marker/very goal-oriented discussion. I will admit, this thread was inspired by the current restructuring discussion going on for the goal threads. But for me personally, while I do enjoy "graduating" to the next thread and milestone, I also feel like I don't belong because I don't have an end goal and just kind of mosey on through them or lurk. It's a bit of imposter syndrome in a way, being the odd one out.

I'm sure there's at least a few people out there who are also growing their hair out and don't really have an end goal in mind.

Basically, my end goal is "happy". I really don't know where that is, but I'll know it when I get there

Some questions to hopefully spur a bit of discussion:

1. What was your starting point, and how long ago was it?
2. What made you decide to grow your hair?
3. Do you enjoy the process of growing your hair out?
4. If you had to make a wild guess, where do you think you'll find your hair's "sweet spot"? Have you had that length in the past?
5. Are you more interested in gaining length, or gaining thickness? Or are you just "meh" about your hair?
6. Do you trim your hair?
7. Has your routine changed since you've been on LHC?
8. Do you consider your hair to be a big part of who you are?
9. Does taking care of your hair make you happy, or is it more of a chore?
10. Do you think you are more likely to eventually land on one length, or try several different ones and change it up?

Happy growing (or not growing, you do you!) everyone

[vampyyri]

To answer my own questions:

What was your starting point, and how long ago was it?
July of 2022, I was chopping my once FTL hair one mile marker at a time after a massive shed. I got to WL and figured I'd let someone else do it to get the rest of my thinned ends off. Currently at WL stretched, a bit shorter with my natural wave.

2. What made you decide to grow your hair?
I missed the length and the buns that I used to do, mostly.

3. Do you enjoy the process of growing your hair out?
Yes, I've actually been really enjoying the growing journey. When I joined here I was at WL, and never experienced healthy hair at a shorter length.

4. If you had to make a wild guess, where do you think you'll find your hair's "sweet spot"? Have you had that length in the past?
Probably around HL? Maybe BCL? I remember really loving those lengths in the past. This time around, who knows though. I did enjoy the wow-factor of having TBL/CL too. So somewhere in the HL-CL range maybe. FTL was a nuisance and I always trimmed back up to CL.

5. Are you more interested in gaining length, or gaining thickness? Or are you just "meh" about your hair?
Length, and then trimming up to where my hemline looks healthy. So both currently a bit "meh" since I'm just letting it do it's own thing.

6. Do you trim your hair?
Not since my big chop, and not until next year because I'm doing the no trimming challenge this year. I want to grow my hair out and have the length to figure out what to do next whether it be continuing to grow or trimming.

7. Has your routine changed since you've been on LHC?
At every stage since APL it has changed a little bit. I'm trying to maintain my newfound 2c texture and have been learning as I go by skimming through threads to learn new techniques.

8. Do you consider your hair to be a big part of who you are?
Sort of, I really enjoy it! Especially with my texture that I've fully embraced and stopped trying to fight like I was ever since puberty changed it from 1a to 2c.

9. Does taking care of your hair make you happy, or is it more of a chore?
It definitely makes me happy, and I enjoy the ritual of taking care of it. I love the self care aspect of it and really take my time with it.

10. Do you think you are more likely to eventually land on one length, or try several different ones and change it up?
I'm probably in the change it up group. I can see myself reaching something like CL and chopping back up to HL and growing it back out to enjoy those lengths all over again.

[cookies]

I think I belong here too My "goal" tends to fluctuate - I've set it to TBL just to have one, but I can imagine it being either too long and impractical for me, or if I get used to wearing it up - not long enough. So much like you vampyyri, I'm not sure what my goal is, but I'll know when I get there!

What was your starting point, and how long ago was it?
Sometime last summer, somewhere around SL/CBL.

2. What made you decide to grow your hair?
It's never been really long as an adult and I feel like I "have the hair for it" So I'd say curiosity.

3. Do you enjoy the process of growing your hair out?
Yes and no. I'm too impatient now that I know I want it long and as we all know, it takes a lot of time. But I do enjoy the "oh wow, it's made it this far and it's still healthy!" phase I'm in right now.

4. If you had to make a wild guess, where do you think you'll find your hair's "sweet spot"? Have you had that length in the past?
Somewhere in the waist to tailbone realm. I don't like the idea of sitting on it, but I love the idea of hair covering my entire back or being half my height and the wow factor of that length.
The longest it's ever been was around waist/hip when I was 9-10 years old. As an adult it's made it to waist once or twice due to not-so-benign neglect and it's always been in a terrible state by the time I get there, urging me to chop all the damage, usually back to APL.

5. Are you more interested in gaining length, or gaining thickness? Or are you just "meh" about your hair?
My hair is sufficiently thick, so I'd say length. In theory, I'd love it to get even thicker and be a solid iii (I'm bordering it now, but whether due to shedding or frizz taming, it's thinned a little over the past few months). But in practice, we had the first 20+ degree C days and it's already feeling a bit suffocating when I wear it down.

6. Do you trim your hair?
During COVID I did it myself and quite poorly lol, but now I've found a great hairdresser so I get it done professionally. I'll join the second half of 2023 no trim challenge, but I imagine I'll need at least two yearly trims until the bleach is all gone.
I've been S&D-ing since my last trim in February and the splits are not as bad as they'd usually get by the 3-month post trim mark, so let's see how it goes.

7. Has your routine changed since you've been on LHC?
Yes, it's been evolving the more I learn. I don't have a dream routine yet, but my hair seems thankful for all the tweaks so far.

8. Do you consider your hair to be a big part of who you are?
Not really. To be honest, my sense of "who I am" is not that strong altogether My friends might feel differently though, out of all my physical features, I think my hair gets the most comments/compliments.

9. Does taking care of your hair make you happy, or is it more of a chore?
I do enjoy it, only on rare occasions I wish it took less time when I don't have much of it.

10. Do you think you are more likely to eventually land on one length, or try several different ones and change it up?
I'm already planning a SL cut when my natural hair gets there (probably for summer 2025) and there's a very strong possibility I'll want to grow it long again after that, the natural edition. I like the idea of growing it to TBL and chopping it to SL as a cycle and am considering donating the chops too.

[luxurioushair]

I guess I halfway belong here, because when I hit the latest milestone, I didn't know what to do next. Then I decided to just continue growing it and aim for a new milestone.
The only way to stop my hair from growing is to abuse it, which I don't want to do... because my whole journey started with wanting to take proper care of it, and to remove anything that was damaging it.

What was your starting point, and how long ago was it?
November 2014, my hair was about 4 inches long, but then I trimmed 2 inches off about 2 months later, so that was my starting point.

2. What made you decide to grow your hair?
I just decided to start taking care of my own hair, and it grew long as a result. Before that, all my life, others had taken care of my hair.
I am thankful to most of them, but the reality is that my hair never grew past my shoulders during those times.

3. Do you enjoy the process of growing your hair out?
I enjoy taking all my hair down about once per year, and realizing that I hit a new milestone. The rest of the time it's not really a process.
I don't see the real length of my hair for months on end. So I wouldn't call it a process.

4. If you had to make a wild guess, where do you think you'll find your hair's "sweet spot"? Have you had that length in the past?
I have no idea but I'm happy with it now. I'd be even happier if it got longer, for some unknown reason.
Every milestone I've hit since about 2016 is a new length I've never had.

5. Are you more interested in gaining length, or gaining thickness? Or are you just "meh" about your hair?
Length all the way

6. Do you trim your hair?
Once in a long while. Like once every couple of years if the ends are feeling a bit rough.

7. Has your routine changed since you've been on LHC?
No, I've just become a lot more relaxed with it. I mostly ignore my hair and I don't moisturize it as much as I used to. I just apply oil to the ends now.

8. Do you consider your hair to be a big part of who you are?
Not really but I like having it. I'm thankful for it.

9. Does taking care of your hair make you happy, or is it more of a chore?
It's mostly just a thing I need to do. I usually watch a show or videos while I style it, so I'm not really thinking about it.

10. Do you think you are more likely to eventually land on one length, or try several different ones and change it up?
When it gets too long for my arms to form twists in my hair, then I might cut it. Or, I might just clip up the extra length while I twist it, and refuse to cut it lol. Yeah I guess I can continue that for a long time... Other girls grow their 4c hair super long and they still twist ALL of it!

[Ylva]

Hey, I think this is a fitting place for me right now! I've had my goal length set to "metal" for a good while now. What that means changes from time to time, but at this point in time, it means a soon-to-come big chop.

I at least cannot recall a thread similar to this from before.

1. What was your starting point, and how long ago was it?
When I first started growing out my hair purposefully, it was hip-length. That was, I think, 2017, but it had been at that length for many years already.

2. What made you decide to grow your hair?
I knew it was something quite easy for me to achieve as I'd always had relatively long hair "by accident" and without trying, so I wanted to see if it could become something really special and extreme. Bit of a dumb reason, really!

3. Do you enjoy the process of growing your hair out?
I'm not sure. The entire time I've been purposefully growing out, I've had significant damage in my hair, so everything has always felt like a bit of a pain.

4. If you had to make a wild guess, where do you think you'll find your hair's "sweet spot"? Have you had that length in the past?
Hmmm! I'm about to cut back to my "default length", which is hip, where I also started growing back in the days, so I think that may be the closest thing to my hair's sweet spot. In the past, it would always end up hovering somewhere around there no matter what I did to it.

5. Are you more interested in gaining length, or gaining thickness? Or are you just "meh" about your hair?
Right now, thickness! About to get rid of a whole bunch of length!

6. Do you trim your hair?
I guess about twice a year on average right now. My mom has been doing it for me the past few years.

7. Has your routine changed since you've been on LHC?
Yeah, but no meaningful changes have taken place in years now.

8. Do you consider your hair to be a big part of who you are?
Yes - but more the ideology behind it rather than the hair itself. My having long hair represents some experiences in my life that greatly contributed to the formation of my current personality. Having long natural hair fits that ideology best, so that's what I'm going for right now.

9. Does taking care of your hair make you happy, or is it more of a chore?
Although I can't always bother with it, I enjoy the washing process. It's a meditative thing, but not as much as it used to be now that I always wash my hair upside down. Other than that, I don't really "care" for it, just treat it reasonably gently. Attempting to create hairstyles usually results in nothing but frustration - I have zero patience for that!

10. Do you think you are more likely to eventually land on one length, or try several different ones and change it up?
I think I will be exploring terminal length in the future. Other than that, I don't know. I'll always have my default length to go back to if I need to!

[Bri-Chan]

This thread is for me too!

1. What was your starting point, and how long ago was it?
When I decided I wanted longer hair I was around mid back, late 2018.

2. What made you decide to grow your hair?
I just dyed my hair black (from blue) but at that length + a normal color my hair felt boring.

3. Do you enjoy the process of growing your hair out?
Yes, I do for sure!

4. If you had to make a wild guess, where do you think you'll find your hair's "sweet spot"? Have you had that length in the past?
I don't know? Maybe between hip and tbl (7 inches span). Around classic I always can't stand it anymore (both the times I was there) and before hip seems too short for the look I want at the moment. I've had my hair between hip and classic from early 2020 to a few weeks ago, then I chopped.

5. Are you more interested in gaining length, or gaining thickness? Or are you just "meh" about your hair?
None of these, I'm more interested in its health and appereance more in general.

6. Do you trim your hair?
Yes, usually twice a year.

7. Has your routine changed since you've been on LHC?
Slightly but yes. I wear it up more and I have understood I need waaaay more conditioner.

8. Do you consider your hair to be a big part of who you are?
Yes, it's very important to me both for my look and for a kind of emotional connection to it.

9. Does taking care of your hair make you happy, or is it more of a chore?
It's a chore between wash days, but I really enjoy the whole process of washing.

10. Do you think you are more likely to eventually land on one length, or try several different ones and change it up?
I'me more likely to try different lengths, I get bored when my hair looks the same for years.

[paulownia]

1. What was your starting point, and how long ago was it?
Probably chin length
It was 2009 and I decided to grow my hair, it was an act of rebellion against short hair family tradition. I was about to move from my homeland to Sweden and get married at this time - many important decisions


2. What made you decide to grow your hair?
I always had short hair and longed for long

3. Do you enjoy the process of growing your hair out?
Yes, I do.

4. If you had to make a wild guess, where do you think you'll find your hair's "sweet spot"? Have you had that length in the past?
Somewhere between mid back and waist.
Never had hair this long.


5. Are you more interested in gaining length, or gaining thickness? Or are you just "meh" about your hair?
Thickness and texture

6. Do you trim your hair?
Yes, and still too often I guess

7. Has your routine changed since you've been on LHC?
A bit but not much. I'm buying less products and I wear a braid more often.
I'm not into hairtoys since most buns just holds 5 minutes and then fell apart.

8. Do you consider your hair to be a big part of who you are?
Definitely.

9. Does taking care of your hair make you happy, or is it more of a chore?
I love taking care of my hair and wash day is always making me happy.

10. Do you think you are more likely to eventually land on one length, or try several different ones and change it up?
I probably stick to one length if I ever get there

[Zesty]

I love this idea, and it's fun to read your responses! I don't think I quite belong here because while I don't have a goal, I'm not growing anymore, and I don't feel like I'm on a "journey," but I think non-goal-oriented threads are a great idea.

[SandyBottom]

What a good idea! My current goal is KL but honestly not sure of my plans once I achieve it, so I'm going to chime in here.

1. What was your starting point, and how long ago was it?
I've always had long hair, but I started to make a concentrated effort in 2017 at TBL 34". It had been longer in the past, CL or so.

2. What made you decide to grow your hair?
I had a lot going on in life and my hair was suffering as well. I was also turning 50 and figured I'd try to fix this mess while I still had a chance.

3. Do you enjoy the process of growing your hair out?
YES!

4. If you had to make a wild guess, where do you think you'll find your hair's "sweet spot"? Have you had that length in the past?
I'm picturing between KL and upper calf. Stretched, it's almost at KL now and I'm quite comfortable with it. I've never had it that long though.

5. Are you more interested in gaining length, or gaining thickness? Or are you just "meh" about your hair?
Hmm...I'm not sure I'm MORE interested in one over the other. Right now I'm quite interested in both.

6. Do you trim your hair?
I've been self trimming/chopping since around 2016 or 2017. Currently doing monthly micro trimming.

7. Has your routine changed since you've been on LHC?
Yeah, less shampoo and less often. I also don't use it on the length anymore. I'm more hesitant to experiment. Now I'll ask myself, "What are you hoping to accomplish by trying this? What are the risks? Are you willing to take that risk with your hair?"

8. Do you consider your hair to be a big part of who you are?
Absolutely! Not just looks, but long hair takes patience and dedication. My hair has helped me eat healthier too.

9. Does taking care of your hair make you happy, or is it more of a chore?
Oh I very much enjoy it! It's the ultimate pampering for me!

10. Do you think you are more likely to eventually land on one length, or try several different ones and change it up?
I think I'll find one length I like.

[Bat]

I apologize if a thread like this already exists, mods feel free to merge this one if it already does.

So I'm noticing a lack of "goal-less" threads on here, and a whole lot of going from mile-marker to mile-marker/very goal-oriented discussion. I will admit, this thread was inspired by the current restructuring discussion going on for the goal threads. But for me personally, while I do enjoy "graduating" to the next thread and milestone, I also feel like I don't belong because I don't have an end goal and just kind of mosey on through them or lurk. It's a bit of imposter syndrome in a way, being the odd one out.

I'm sure there's at least a few people out there who are also growing their hair out and don't really have an end goal in mind.

Basically, my end goal is "happy". I really don't know where that is, but I'll know it when I get there

Some questions to hopefully spur a bit of discussion:

1. What was your starting point, and how long ago was it?
2. What made you decide to grow your hair?
3. Do you enjoy the process of growing your hair out?
4. If you had to make a wild guess, where do you think you'll find your hair's "sweet spot"? Have you had that length in the past?
5. Are you more interested in gaining length, or gaining thickness? Or are you just "meh" about your hair?
6. Do you trim your hair?
7. Has your routine changed since you've been on LHC?
8. Do you consider your hair to be a big part of who you are?
9. Does taking care of your hair make you happy, or is it more of a chore?
10. Do you think you are more likely to eventually land on one length, or try several different ones and change it up?

Happy growing (or not growing, you do you!) everyone

I already made a thread like this called buzz to floor+ https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=155671

I'm not opposed to merging the one I made into this so we don't have 2 all length threads, or add this to resources and take out the all lengths one
we don't want another repeat of the reconstruction discussion