Guy with very unwieldy hair looking for help

[Maktub]

Sorry for the link, this should work : http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/...e&articleid=79


Good luck in finding hair that you like ! I disagree 100 % about curls not being good for your face & "nordish soul", but the important thing is that YOU are happy with what you have on your head. Best luck on your journey and LHC is here for your questions !

(either way, try to get the most moisture you can in your hair and reduce your shampoo use )

[Maktub]

A reason why straight hair would work for me and not against me.
I know what I want and am confident enough to not want to appear confident. You are absolutely right when it comes to what is commonly thought of as sexy. However, I am not attracted to women with common tastes in the first place

What I meant is that to me, it shows a lack of self confidence if you go against your "natural (curly) self". Nothing to do with "trying" to show self confidence.

But that's just me. Do what makes you happy

[3azza]

no problem for not wanting the curls. Just add some conditioner and leave in product (not hairspray) after washing your hair and comb it. It will get less poofy and less curly.

[RitaPG]

First of all, I love your hair color, it suits your skintone and eyes beautifully

Not trying to be a meanie here, but if you want to keep your hair as long as possible, I'd suggest getting rid of hairspray. It's very drying, and not healthy on the scalp either, my mom used hairspray for years and it ruined the quality of her hair.

I understand why you'd want a straightener, truth be told, your curls lack definition, looks more like you have messy voluminous hair, as you said it

just an almost straight, poofy mess

but maybe if you improve the condition of your hair you'll find that you like it curly? I think your hair would benefit from a little moisture or some sort of leave-in conditioner. You don't need to spend a lot of time on it, leaving a little conditioner on your hair helps to weight it down and not make it so voluminous, it also keeps it moisturized for longer, which means less "pouf"
here is a popular example of what a little product can do to the excess volume
http://www.tightlycurly.com/images/c...i_BeforeCR.jpg
http://www.tightlycurly.com/images/c..._Chi_After.jpg

You never specified your routine, but everyone already gave good suggestions, CO washing seems to be very popular amongst the curlies here, if you're ever in the mood to try it.
Best of luck!

[Vanille_]

First, I think the curls are going to look great.

Buuuut, if you are dead set on tameing those curls, i can only think of one thing. I have a slight wave and I prefer straight hair. Some conditioners can "weigh down" your hair. This is considered bad by many, but it means I get straight silky hair so I do it. It would never get you as straight hair as mine, but you could try different conditioners and see if anything helps?

I LOVE Herbal Essence Touchably Smooth. For me, it looks like I've used a flat iron.

(I'm not a curly hair expert, so someone else who knows more should say if this would not work for him because of the different hair type)

[RitaPG]

Oops, only now I read your response to why you don't like curly hair. Seems like a perfectly valid reason.
Vanille made a good suggestion, conditioners like Herbal Essences do seem to make hair less curly, possibly because they have lots of silicones that weight the hair down. I don't really have curly hair, but when I want it to look really straight I go for those conditioners too.

[spidermom]

Well, lucky for you the technology is available to give you the straight hair that you want so much. Again, start using conditioner more than you use shampoo. I mix a small dollop of shampoo with warm water in a squirt bottle, then squirt the solution all over my scalp. It cleans very well and makes any shampoo more gentle.

Be sure to use a spray-on hair protector before you use a flat iron. They can't prevent your hair from becoming damaged, but they help. Get regular small trims on the ends - the bottom 1/2 to 1 inch of your hair - every 3 months or so. They will need it after heat styling.

[Maktub]

First, I think the curls are going to look great.

Buuuut, if you are dead set on tameing those curls, i can only think of one thing. I have a slight wave and I prefer straight hair. Some conditioners can "weigh down" your hair. This is considered bad by many, but it means I get straight silky hair so I do it. It would never get you as straight hair as mine, but you could try different conditioners and see if anything helps?

I LOVE Herbal Essence Touchably Smooth. For me, it looks like I've used a flat iron.

(I'm not a curly hair expert, so someone else who knows more should say if this would not work for him because of the different hair type)

It might not be enough to have completely strait hair, but a good conditionner will make it sleek and not poofy (as long as it's not too damaged). I sometimes leave a bit of conditionner (a little !) in my wet hair and dry it in an bun or a low braid (I use a natural one, without sillicones). My quite tight 3a curls then become a soft sleek wave, without any poofyness. Using a boar bristle brush gently on the waves (never on curls though ! & after combing, of course) will further make it straiter. And as my hair is not dry from ironing, it doesn't become poofy in humidity like it ised to when I straitened everyday.

Dilluted apple cidar vinegar rinses (ACV) also help in having sleek shiny hair without frizz, by balancing the hair's ph after a wash. Shikakai does this too, for me.

Never tried Herbal Essence Touchably Smooth. Sometimes, conditionners that work well for strait hair are full of silicones that get naturally curly hair to be quite dry, in part because you need to use more shampoo because of buildup (and then complicated to work with). But that depends for everyone's hair. Something to try !

ps. if you have a wood comb, carefull to keep it dry and dry it off asap if you use it on wet hair.

Edward, do you plan on having long hair ? I mean, in growing your hair out ?
If not, and if you ever decide to use a flat iron on your hair... it will be easier to trimm your hair often to maintain your lenght and keep it not too long. This way you will have it less damaged than if it was really long (and therefore, older hair on your head).

[moxamoll]

Why I don't want curly hair: I don't think it fits my face. I think curly hair can work well for southern or rugged types but not so much for people with androgynous facial features. Furthermore, I associate curly hair with latin flair and I have more of a "nordish soul". Calm and melancholic, not lively and cheerful.

Well, when you said "nordish soul" the first thing that came to my mind was Vikings, with long, sleek curls pouring over their manly shoulders! I can only image that you have a different Nordic in mind?

You have to do what makes you happy, but I'd be really interested to see you treat your curls with respect for a bit and find out what they are really like. You may find they suite you better than you expect when they are healthy. Just my two cents.

[Wavelength]

Why I don't want curly hair: I don't think it fits my face. I think curly hair can work well for southern or rugged types but not so much for people with androgynous facial features. Furthermore, I associate curly hair with latin flair and I have more of a "nordish soul". Calm and melancholic, not lively and cheerful.

And actually (@ Wavelength), I haven't tried to make it straight yet. Not really anyway. I've only tried straightening product and getting a huge round brush. But that was years ago for some weeks. I've only been washing with shampoo (every 2nd day), done barely any brushing (to not upset the poof ) and have used little hair spray (I put it on my hand and use it like gel - I started using it to hold down my hair but not make it look wet at the same time) for about three years now.

Interesting. I'd say your curls are coming from Irish or Scots genetic background, which although not Nordic, is still pretty far away from "Latin flair". But that's just speculation.

I'm glad you haven't seriously tried to make your hair straight. The fact is, you're kinda fighting genetics here, and that's a losing battle. Do you happen to have a picture of yourself before your hair became hard to control? Perhaps back when you were a child? That would help us get some idea of what your hair looks like when undamaged, and give us a starting point to work from.

As to your current routine -- yeah, if you haven't already, toss out the big round brush. Brushes in general aren't gonna help you, especially plastic ones. They can help to give hair more volume, sometimes, because they separate hairs away from each other as you brush, but you're trying to reduce volume, not get more of it. Many brushes also build up static. Combs are your friend here -- wide-toothed ones, ideally wooden ones to reduce static. (As was mentioned upthread though, don't take wooden combs in the shower or get them too wet.)

Also, ditch the hair spray. Hair spray works by bonding individual hairs together with tacky glue-type chemicals, but when those bonds separate, they pull off some of the hair's cuticle and cause damage. Damage will always equal more poofiness, so the first thing to do is cut back on anything damaging in your routine.