Lots of whining

[LauraLongLocks]

I don't know why I feel like whining about my hair. It is healthy, the ends feel pretty decent, and it's long by most opinions. But the face-framing bits are not magically all grown out over night, and my bangs are totally messed up from my accidental whack job (and they don't seem to have grown at all since the day they were cut). And why is it that I have had two months this year where I only grew 1/4th of an inch? That's a rip-off, I tell ya! It doesn't feel any longer to me than it did 6 months ago, even though the pictures and measurements say otherwise. It has grown, but just not at a phenomenal rate. I can't ponytail it and wrap it all the way around my head yet, and it doesn't reach my navel in front yet. It's just not LONG enough yet. And why, when I am complaining about it not growing fast enough, am I reading all the lovely accounts of the merits of microtrimming? I am doing a no-trim year for 2014, right? I don't know, when bunzfan trimmed her hair and it looked so awesome afterwards, it makes me want to cut mine, too.

There's more going on here than stuff with my hair, for sure.

I'm feeling the same impatience with my running. I want to be a faster runner, but I don't want to train. I want to lose 5-10 lbs, but I don't want to give up the large portion sizes. I also want to be pregnant, but don't necessarily want another child to be here. I don't know how that makes any sense at all. I'm relieved that the public school year is winding down because it means I no longer have to drive my homeschooling teenage son to his religion class that our church offers during the school year. That has been a daily grind for me. Of course, the kids still have swim team practice every day, and I am the taxi driver for that. I am so far behind on laundry because one of my washers is broken (the new one... the drain pump is broken on it) and the part won't be in until the end of the month. I want to eat nice healthy meals, but don't want to menu plan or pull out frozen meat in time to have it thawed for a meal. What the heck is wrong with me? I can get my hair and make up all done up nice, but no one ever sees it because I am a stay at home mom. I got my toenails done yesterday because a friend is going to school to be a nail technician and I had her give me a pedicure. I don't even care that my toenails are pretty because no one will ever see them. I think I need a month in my pajamas. Yes, that's what I need: pajamas, chocolate, Doritos, and no outside commitments for a month. Then I can jump back into my life again, full-speed. And the hair? Does it even matter? Nothing I have tried has made my growth rate faster, aside from eating lots of protein. Gosh, this is a lot of random rambling about I don't know what. Burnout maybe?

I think it's lack of down-time. The list of stuff I need to do, or should be doing is endless. So I'm checking out a lot of the time because I'm overwhelmed. What does it have to do with my hair? I have no idea. Maybe this wasn't even about my hair. I'm pretty sure it wasn't, lol! But seriously, why can't it grow faster than it does?

[AmyBeth]

That's the million dollar question, isn't it? Growth can be erratic. It seems to have a mind of its own. You sound like you need a vacation, really. Really, just putting your hair up and forgetting about it for a few weeks, no measuring, no peering into the mirror hoping for instantaneous growth. Sometimes I wished I could put my kids in a closet and forget about them for a while. Trust me, they will be grown and gone so fast that you won't know what hit you. I can only advise you to enjoy the hell out of them while you have them, and laundry is the last thing you need to worry about! Good nutrition doesn't have to mean tons of time in the kitchen. I'm vegan, so I don't know that I can help you there, but other members must have quick ideas for healthy meals.
I hope you feel better soon!

[jacqueline101]

I have moments with my little brother where I could give him away. He tries to be man of the house and it doesn't go so well. Anyways putting your hair up and retiring your ruler are great. We used to have a thread or group about retiring your ruler back when I first started, but after the big melt down afew years ago I can't find it.

[lapushka]

In short? Hair will grow when it will grow... when it wants to, 'cause let me tell you, hair has a mind of its own. No but seriously, you can go through growth spurts, growth stalls, or pretty steady growth, all of that can happen at any given time.

This is the most important, IMO, of all you've written:

It has grown, but just not at a phenomenal rate.

Ah, to have the patience...

And you're gonna have to have some patience, even though your hair might be a slow grower.

It's almost the end of the month. It is *hell* on a larger family to go without a washer. So I sympathize with you on that one. As far as sympathy goes for the slow growth, I have that too.

And it doesn't matter if nobody is around to see the pretty hairstyles (wait, we're here, right ), just do them for *you* - yes *you*. You're absolutely worth the time and effort.

[Duchess Fuzzy Buns]

Aw, it does sound like you need a vacation... Or maybe a date night at least? Get all prettied up and go out and forget about the laundry (either with your SO or with some girl friends). I know the feeling of having an endless to-do list... but maybe it would help to write it all out and prioritize the things that actually really truly need to get done and start there.

[Ocelan]

I know how you feel about the hair! I feel like my hair has been about the same length for like 2 years. Ugh! What helped me to forget it more was to only measure and take a photo quarterly, so only 4 times a year. I've felt tempted to do so more often, but now that I don't even own a camera, I can't. So I've measured at Christmas and then at the end of March and was so happy to see there had actually been some growth during those three months. The next measure will be at the end of June, so I'm chilling until that. Also your ends probably don't need a trim, but if your peace of mind needs it, do it (using the two week rule, unless if it's just a dusting). Even though you are in a no trim challenge, it doesn't mean someone would judge you if you had a trim. You are who counts here and you are who gets to be the only judge for your hair (even though we all here think your hair is lovely of course).

I also understand your frustration with not being able to show off your hair and other things about your appearance that would make you feel good about yourself. I haven't gotten to show off any of my hairdos or pretty clothes or anything else either in like a year and a half. That's why I haven't even bothered to make any pretty hairdos. At work I've needed my hair to be up out of the way and flat against my head without any hairtoys so it would fit under a hardhat. My clothes have needed to be practical and the kind that doesn't matter if they get ripped, worn or mud all over them. I've felt like a total ugly duck at work and after work aswell, also weekends, because I haven't had any time or energy or a reason to do anything or go anywhere. I've lost a part of me that I liked while doing this.

What I think you need to do is set aside some time for yourself. Sometimes 15 minutes is enough, but I'd say atleast twice a month you need to have a good few hours where you can do anything you want. That's either being alone or out with friends so you can show yourself off, but you need it. Tell your kids you need some "mommy-alone-time" and I'm sure atleast your teenager(s) is old enough to look after the other kids for a while. If they need a meal during that time, pre-prepare (yes, that's a word... right?) something that they can serve and make themselves. Make it fun for them so that they can play cook (and hopefully also cleaner afterwards) for a while. It doesn't have to be anything fancy. If you can trust them with a stove, prepare a big batch of pancake batter for them. If you can't, then something as simple as different kinds of veggies and other things to dip could be fine. That is if your kids are willing to eat veggies.

Either way. Downtime is very much needed by the sounds of it. Try to make it happen. And if something that isn't absolutely needed doesn't get done because you are taking your time off, then don't sweat it. There's always tomorrow, and the next day and the next day...

[Charybdis]

Oh, gosh, I hear you about the washing machine! It's bad enough if it's just two of you, but with all your kids...

Being a full-time mom to more than one kid is a super-demanding job, and no wonder you feel a little over-stretched sometimes! I think you're doing great fitting in your running and the occasional pedicure.

I agree, you need some responsibility-free pajama time. Could your extended family help you out with the kiddos so that maybe you and your hubby could have a stay-cation weekend for just the two of you?

Lapushka is certainly right about hair having a mind of its own. I went through a big stall last year (probably stress-related) and now my growth is finally picking back up. Yours will too!

[Symphony]

You need to spend some time out of the house with good company. Maybe you need to take up a new hobby, too... something to mix it up and be around other people!

[Marika]

Yeah, it sounds like this isn't really about your lovely hair! I've been going through something similar. Whenever I'm stressed (not always realizing it), exhausted or anxious just in general, I get more obsessed with my hair. I function perfectly fine in my everyday life but I fuss over my hair to dismantle stress in a way. Like it's my security blanket or something.

I agree with others. It sounds like you need some "me time" out of the house. I know it's not always that easy and simple with kids but if you manage to do that, it really pays off!

[ErinLeigh]

I get this way when I am run down exhausted. Could you be feeling a little general burnout? For me, these feelings have to pass organically. NOTHING I do moves them along. Hopefully that is not the same for your.

I work alone and my bf is gone 16 days a month so i really never have an "excuse" or "need" to fix myself up lately. The one bright side is though my hair is getting a lot less manipulation, my skin is very clear from not wearing any makeup ever. These are the pluses of having "fumpy" time. Also, when I do finally fix up I feel amazing so that helps.
Only issue now is I am wasting time not losing weight while I am in hibernation mode. I should have lost these 10 extra lbs by now. I guess that needs to go on my ever long list. Heck I haven't even gotten to getting my Driver license renewed. I have een putting everything off lately. Total procrastination month. I always get like this in May right before true summer kicks in.

I relate to every word you wrote. It hit close to home to what is going on in my own world so I totally understand these feelings.
Hoping you have a really fun, upbeat, fulfilling, hair growing, energized, fast running summer!!!!!!!!